Help me if you can I’m feeling down

Help me if you can I’m feeling down

9:49 AM, 27th August 2013, About 10 years ago 43

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When I married in 2009 I remortaged my house onto a buy to let to raise a deposit to buy our marital home. The marital home was then completely financed by me, and we are tenants in common. Help me if you can I'm feeling down

My husband had a small house that he had mortgaged to 70% and a housing association owned rest. He had poor credit and was unable to remortgage for buy to let. I had good credit so we decided that rather than he pay for his share of our home we would purchase the entire property and remortgage that onto a buy to let as well to finance our home.

The buy to let is with Nationwide. The letting of the house carried on OK. My husband was out of work and therefore any debts were paid by me. My husband suffers from mental health issues and is prone to irrational decisions.

Recently we had decided to sell up and move to France, this was at the time that our buy to let needed new tenants. On vacating the tenants my husband informed me that he was moving his son, girlfriend and her child into our buy to let. He did this without me seeing the rental agreement or me signing the agreement. He also moved into the house, which I hoped would be temporary until he came to his senses.

His sons girlfriend had been prosecuted by DWP for benefit fraud and they have all accused me of “dobbing them in” and spread this rumour to all the family and friends. My step son is also on benefits, so I know there had to be a tenancy agreement taken to council. The rent is £1,300 monthly and some was paid after a month, and they now have another tenant in there who is yet to contribute rent. My husband has not contributed rent either.

Apart from my husband, they take drugs, work while on benefits and are not bothered about the fact that the house was in arrears with mortgage company which I personally paid off.

Although I have begged my husband to come home and see a doctor, he has not got the courage to tell them to pay up or to tell them to stop taking drugs. The police have been around already because there is a child in house but found nothing. I understand from the previous tenant that neighbours are not happy.

So there is benefit fraud, drugs overcrowding and mental illness in house and I don’t know if my name is on the landlord agreement either. Despite being the lead mortgagee on the property and I am getting no say.

The mortgage we have is for business and I have been informed by the mortgage company that the tenancy is not allowed as family, including my husband, cannot live in the house. Therefore the tenants will have to leave or we need to buy another mortgage. I presume that the mortgage company will find out through council tax records who is living there and inform the benefits department they know tenants are on benefit?

I am worried that the council will not pay an illegal tenancy, so will want their money back and the tenants will stop paying because the money they earn is for drugs.

To top it all I have paid for the house not to be repossessed out of my pocket. Some rent has recently been paid but my husband has taken it all. He will not help pay for any of the housing costs in our home. He does not know yet that the tenancy is illegal and will blame me when it all comes out. He is working but on contract and does not let the tax man know. He is prone to voilence and I am loosing an income here. I cannot afford to pay the mortgage on this house, and the bills whilst they sit in the house defamming me and text me lies.

I have been to the police who are don’t seem to be the slightest bit interested in what’s going on. I have also spoken to my GP and he has advised me not to let my husband in our home as she thinks I’m at risk. I do not want to get my husband into trouble, I just need him to come to his senses. However, he is surrounded by peopel who tell him I was brainwashing him.

What can I do?

I have no money to pay for a solicitor.

In hope on suggestions.


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Mark Alexander - Founder of Property118

9:57 AM, 27th August 2013, About 10 years ago

I really sorry but don't know where to begin with this one. Have you spoken to Citizens Advice yet?

Neil Patterson

10:08 AM, 27th August 2013, About 10 years ago

I am very very sorry for your situation which sounds appalling.

Having read your question I can only really see one way of trying to distance yourself financially from this mess that includes fraud and other criminal activity. It does not sound like you are ready to accept it yet, but my only helpful suggestion is to seek a divorce and try to get some legal aid.

If you don't I can only see you being dragged down, because if someone is committing fraud and doing drugs and your husband has a mental illness there is no way they will respect what a mortgage company wants an AST or anything else that you need to make happen to straighten out your finances because it will just not seem important to them.

You can still help and care for someone and not be married to them, and in fact if you do get a divorce and distance yourself financially you are probably more likely to be able to help.

Mr Biggs

16:01 PM, 27th August 2013, About 10 years ago

Seems like what you need is a divorce or restraining order and stop hanging round dumb people that will eventually ruin your life.


16:56 PM, 27th August 2013, About 10 years ago

Reply to the comment left by "Mr Biggs" at "27/08/2013 - 16:01":

Thank you for your reply, I am of course the dumb one because I have let myself believe this man, he is sick and needs to see doctor. It is very difficult for me. If you can think of any help I might get without too much money or any law that might apply i would be gratful. Thanks

Mr Biggs

17:44 PM, 27th August 2013, About 10 years ago

Reply to the comment left by "J B" at "27/08/2013 - 16:56":

C.A.B. might help but they would be as blunt as I am. Honestly speaking, cut your losses and sell the property with or without them still living in it while you can, then if you can, buy in another area secretly if you are still married. They simply do not appreciate what you have done or are doing....This is a case that will only probably end up in tears and my guess is  - Your tears! Anywhere you go will charge you money and you might as well add up all the problems, expenses and charges to the original property price and eventually you'll realise that was one big expensive purchase.

Anon Ymmouse

18:19 PM, 27th August 2013, About 10 years ago

The most important thing here is your safety. If you feel threatened with violence, or it has happened please consider speaking to a domestic violence charity, eg who can offer practical advice and give you some support to get you through this situation. Even if you can find a law to remedy the situation with the house, it will take weeks if not months, and no doubt your husband and tennants will not be too happy throughout this time. Do you know much about your husband's illness, has he ever been diagnosed? If so maybe speak to a mental health charity like , who can give advice on how someone with your husband's particular illness could be coerced into helping you sort this out, and working with you rather than against.   Although seemingly long-winded, this might be quicker and relatively easier than 'rubbing him up the wrong way' with eviction notices.

Vanessa Warwick

18:47 PM, 27th August 2013, About 10 years ago

Dear JB,

I am very sorry to hear of your awful situation.

For what it is worth, a friend of mine has recently had her own home and a rental property raided by the police, as, completely unknown to her, her husband was trading in illegal fire arms!

Some people are not dumb, they just have secretive or
mentally ill people in their lives.

My advice would be to call the free Landlord Action Helpline for advice.  The number
is 0333 240 9770. 

You could also post your problem on Property Tribes to get some more input from the PT community.

I sincerely wish you the best of luck in sorting out this horrendous situation.

Jay James

19:27 PM, 27th August 2013, About 10 years ago

Perhaps it would help you to separate business and personal matters. 

On the one hand some emotional advice and support from an independant person may be helpful in the way family cannot be. 

On the other, some legal and prfessional advice to remove these persons from your assets would help you to then move on.

You may need to be prepared to lose some money in order to remove these persons. 

It may help to sell up everything you have and buy other assets so that these persons do not know where you are and so that you can move on.

Please let us know how you get on, I'm sure all of us would like to know that things work out okay for you. 

Best wishes


Mark Alexander - Founder of Property118

19:53 PM, 27th August 2013, About 10 years ago

Reply to the comment left by "J B" at "27/08/2013 - 16:56":

Divorce was the first logical solution that sprung into my mind but I didn't want to suggest it immediately just in case there was a better solution. Having been through a divorce myself I know how painful the process can be. Having given your scenario a lot of thought throughout the day I think Neil was right. I see no choice if you are not to get dragged deeper and deeper into this problem. The fact the mortgage account was unpaid will already have ruined your credit score, even though you have paid it off. I can foresee a scenario here whereby you could lose everything unless you take drastic steps now. Please go and talk to a divorce lawyer. If needs be, stop paying the mortgage on the property your relatives are living in to pay the divorce lawyer.

Do you have equity in the properties by the way?


20:05 PM, 27th August 2013, About 10 years ago

Reply to the comment left by "Mark Alexander" at "27/08/2013 - 09:57":

Thanks for your reply. I have spoken to CAB and they were stunned to silence. I have today received a letter from mortgage company describing that they are aware my husband is in the property and suggesting arranging a new residential mortgage. The Nationwide one we have is not for family to live in property. So the AST may be illegal/void, also I have been advised that as I have not seen the present tenancy agreement then that makes the tenancy illegal. My husband does not have ajob, he works contract for a while but doesnt pay the tax man, so the likely hood of getting a mortgage is slim. PLus when we got the mortgage he had bad credit on the house so I think that stays in place on the property as well, not our marital home. What I find incredible is that the DWP allowed the enancy in the first place as his so had been involved in the benefit fraud before, although as it was not him but his girlfiend who was on benefits she is the one that got court hearing.

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