Amusing complaints from tenants

by Mark Alexander

9:30 AM, 28th March 2014
About 7 years ago

Amusing complaints from tenants

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Amusing complaints from tenants

Amusing complaints from tenantsAs they say, the old ones are the best!

I’m sharing these as a light hearted end to a very busy and stressful week.

They are all extracts of genuine complaint letters to landlords, councils, housing associations and letting agents.

Enjoy!

1. It’s the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.

6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

11. The next door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can’t take it anymore.

12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.

15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it’s now getting too much for me.

16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife..

20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can’t get BBC2.

22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.


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Comments

10:46 AM, 28th March 2014
About 7 years ago

Thanks Mark - that's really brightened up my Friday!

Dave Riches

10:48 AM, 28th March 2014
About 7 years ago

no 5 - is my dog in that toilet?

Mark Lynham

11:08 AM, 28th March 2014
About 7 years ago

Lol, these are great!
I think the lady at Shelter needs cheering up, maybe you should send these to her..

Julie Dawson

11:15 AM, 28th March 2014
About 7 years ago

I'm crying with laughter ..... cheered me up on this miserable friday !!!

Mandy Thomson

11:54 AM, 28th March 2014
About 7 years ago

Hilarious - just goes to prove the point about using correct grammar! What's worse than being a landlord? Answer, a live in landlord, or even worse, a lodger or any other kind of housemate: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/category/roommates/ (passive aggressive notes left by frustrated housemates).

Annette Stone

15:36 PM, 28th March 2014
About 7 years ago

Mark you have really brightened up my day with this lot. I simply can't stop giggling. If property doesn't work you can always do a turn in a music hall. Have a great weekend

Onslow Clough

7:34 AM, 29th March 2014
About 7 years ago

Very funny! Hope you managed to let your hair down a bit last night Mark and enjoy a drink or two with Mark and Carla...

Sian Hemming-Metcalfe, MARLA (INV)

19:14 PM, 1st April 2014
About 7 years ago

Brilliant; great read to end the day 🙂

Vanessa Barlow

18:57 PM, 8th April 2014
About 7 years ago

Best giggle of the day 🙂


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